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[29 Apr 2011|12:07am]
if more female would sit down and be ladies, than more males would stand up and be gentlemen.

I came across this on stumbleupon and I just couldn't resist not re-posting it.

what am I? [07 Jan 2011|11:30pm]
I'm just so bored.
I'm aggravated that he said he would call today and he didn't.
I'm upset that I'm home on a friday night.
I'm losing my sanity because I haven't seen Frankie or Beeker in 3 weeks and I'm SO use to spending every day/night/morning/evening/sunrise/sunset/waking moment with them.
I'm confused as to why my mom all of a sudden hates my guts.
I'm sick of being sober.
I'm past the point of being broke and it's driving me mad.

if not now then when?? [07 Jan 2011|11:39am]
10 things going on in my life right now:

1. I met someone! AH! wish me luck!
2. I don't have a job anymore which is making home boring, boring, and making me poor.
3. My mom and I are fighting. She's being so odd these days.
4. 2 girls in my sorority might be failing out.. I can't deal with that.
5. This is gonna be the last semester with my best friends :(.
6. I keep dreaming about fucking Cuyle. GET OUT OF MY HEAD CUYLE!
7. I got a Blackberry! So exciting that I'm part of the real world now ha.
8. I'm not smoking a pack of cigs every other day.. THANK GOD!
9. I miss my best friends Franks and Beek.
10. I have not gone tanning in MONTHS! I am pale as fuck and it's whatever! hahah

SO that's what's going on with me..

[10 Dec 2010|06:42pm]
sully- hey sull hah.. for a while that was all i had because i didn't know what else to say probably because there are so many things that i could say to you. i know we talked the other night at BX about this so i'm gonna keep it short but i just want you to know how much you really do mean to me. i remember the first time i KNEW for sure that we were gonna be good friends.. it was at sig nu when you and the upsilons were pledging and i think it was nelly- but someone told you and the upsilons that you had to have a dance off. you looked at me and begged me to take you to the bathroom and for a minute i thought you were me lol. ever since then i feel like weve been able to tell each other anything. your friendship has meant so much to me and i'm really going to miss standing in the corner at parties chewing your ear off, rolling, even our car rides home last year. i know i'm going to see you so i wont say goodbye. let's go dive into some koolaid now ;)


Life [07 Dec 2010|12:05am]

High as fuck.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

[04 Dec 2010|11:20pm]
Note to Self: in the blink of an eye everything can change.

.. I'm gonna be alone forever

[28 Oct 2010|04:07pm]

This year has been a wild bumpy road with new friends, old friends and losses. Yesterday Laura (a girl I knew from high school and one of my moms old students) jumped in front of the train to kill herself. This is so troubling to me. I cant understand what could have been bad enought to want to do that. It is such an extreme way to commit suiced. What kind of life must a 20 year old girl be leading to make her want to junp in front of a train? Maybe I cant understand because i have never been theremyself but it just really scares me that someone could feel that much pain. What scares me the most is that no one even knew she was feeling this way.. Yet she bought her family gifts last week, gave all of het clothes to salvation army and went to bed tuesday night in her clothes and shoes. I cant get past this. Jesus christ.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


[26 Oct 2010|02:48am]
Today I popped a vicodin in class. I'm not sure why I did it, or why it was in my backpack.. well I do but smeh. Idk. I just needed something to calm me down and just make me feel.. different. I was so upset about that test and then I had to rush my paper.. Plus I was on campus for 12 freakin hours today.

I'm sorry if none of this makes sense. Again, I am high posting to livejoirnal before I go to bed.. I always think that I am going to forget how I felt or what I was thinking after being high if I don't write it down somewhere. Maybe that's what I'll do.. Every time I'm high and have access to a computer or ipod I will post to livejournal.

over and out fuckers

Ja ja jadeddd [25 Oct 2010|04:52pm]

What a terrible mother fucking day. Im hungry, tired and hot. I feel like i cant breath because i am so overly stressed. Im never gonna graduate, i dont know what i want to do with my life and i cant even begin to think of the amount of work that im going to have to do to get out of here on time. I guess sometimes you just have to bite the bullet but ahh i just dont know.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


She's so highhhhh high above meee [25 Oct 2010|01:09am]
have you ever been really high and thought about if every time you went on facebook and clicked the what's our mind box it would literally get a message from your brain and post to facebook what is actually on your mind?

bar, bud, beaker & frankie

[18 Oct 2010|11:12pm]
I'll never have something just for myself. Maybe I'm not supposed to. Maybe there's too much of me to go around and I am just supposed to be shared. People keep taking huge chunks of my heart, mind and being and just don't give them back. How can I be a friend to all of you when none of you consistently be a friend back to me. I can't live like this. I can't be the fair weather friend to everyone. It's not fair to me. It never was. It never will be.

Pop moved out. It's weird. Him being gone but it was like he never was really there at all. It pains me to know that I could have had this spectacular relationship with my grandfather because he lived with me and me and all of my siblings took advantage of it. How could I do that? And now he's gone to live in a retirement facility and I'll probably see him even less. Life always does show you that you don't know what you've got till it's gone..

2 kids I went to high school with were found in their car on saturday.. One was died, died of a heroin and acid overdose. The other is in a coma from the same thing. Life is a scary thing. I risk it every day by doing drugs and drinking, being careless with my life and others as well. If these past few days have taught me anything it is to be grateful.. and here I am sad over the fact that I have to share my friends..

[11 Oct 2010|04:54pm]

Sitting in class contemplating life. What it is, what it should be. Life is right now beeker, frankie, weed, alcohol, club frankie, xanex and whatever else i want and when i want ir. Life is crazy. Life iis sloppy and it is wild but i'm jus trying to live.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


[13 Jul 2010|10:59am]
I've decided to do this thing- a letter a day for 30 days- here's the list:
On this day you write a letter to:
Day 1 — Your Best Friend
Day 2 — Your Crush
Day 3 — Your parents
Day 4 —Your sibling (or closest relative)
Day 5 — Your dreams
Day 6 — A stranger
Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
Day 15 — The person you miss the most
Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
Day 23 — The last person you kissed
Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

[22 May 2010|11:59pm]
I'm home for summer.. weird.

[20 Dec 2009|12:54pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Coming home is a hard thing to do. I don't really know if I could call coming back to my house in Northport home anymore. People say that home is where the heart is- if that is the case I have two homes. When I come "home" it's weird, awkward and uncomfortable. Though things look the same nothing is. But then again how can things be the same when everything down to the single fibers of your being are different? I'm not the same person I was when I called this house my home. I have found my new home amongst a bunch of girls, guys, alcohol and drugs. My home isn't suitable for me anymore, I don't fit here, I don't belong.


[17 Dec 2009|11:52pm]
[ mood | cold ]

Just got home for Christmas break and already missing the black hole (Oneonta) that I call my life..


[11 Apr 2009|10:44am]
It's true, I wouldn't know a good thing if it punched me in the face. I don't know what else could go wrong. However my horoscope says that spring will bring many great new things in my love life. Hope so.

[09 Mar 2009|12:47am]
It's a very sad day when you realize you would be nothing without the people that make you feel terrible.

[17 Feb 2009|11:28am]
It's time!

[21 Sep 2008|02:36am]
what it comes down to is that i always ruin everything. anything that is good, i will ruin it so don't bring it near me. i fuck up. i'm a fuck up. everything i do is fucked up.

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